Twelve Nights readers?

[ceelove]

I'm humming along on Twelve Nights, my new (non-musical) play, with four (of twelve) scenes done. It's about polyamory and community and friendship and belief systems and parenting and modern life. Warning, it has twelve principle characters (no small parts), so there's a lot to keep track of: part of what I need to know is, is it All Too Much?

I'm excited and self-congratulatory and in need of a reality check. Want to give me one? Read my 30 pages (it will take you maybe 20 minutes?) and tell me what you think.

Given an email address, I can point you at a dropbox link or send you a PDF.

Comments

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

I believe you already have mine :)

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

Nice job! There were a few lines here and there where I thought I heard you talking and not the character, but it's hard to be objective because I know you! Anyway, overall, well-done and potentially an eye-opener, a way to get people talking and to spread the Good Word :) Nice job!

[ceelove.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Don't hesitate to point out lines that feel too "me" or preaching-to-the-choir, as I am way too immersed in this to be objective myself.

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

Don't remember exactly where it was, but the word "intercepts" (is that the right one?) comes to mind...

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

Er...sorry...think the word was "precepts", within a phrase that did not sound quite right for the character.

[ceelove.livejournal.com]

Found it, changed the line around to "Ah, so now we’re stating universal truths?" (The speaker, Jackson, is one of the more interesting of the characters to me - snarky trickster who'll discover that it's not funny when he's in great lovelorn pain.)

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

That sounds much better--much more believable to the character. Nice job!

[cos]

30 pages in 20 minutes? How much play time does that cover?

I would read it later this week and give you an opinion.

[ceelove.livejournal.com]

Industry standard is a page equals a minute of stage time; reading to oneself goes faster than performing aloud.

I'll send a link to your polyamory address. :)

[mangosteen]

Please send me a link. I'd be glad to read it.