right...y'all can't read my mind...

[ceelove]

I've gotten a couple of reminders lately that there's radio silence coming from me. This isn't because I want to conceal what's going on, but because my life, at this point, is largely revolving around Sylvana. starphire says he intends to post an update soon, so check his journal for details on her health.

Overall, things are going very well for her: they've figured out the level of Phenobarbital to give her, and she's now getting accustomed to it, so she's more and more alert. Yesterday and today, I got to nurse her; today, she was latching on like a pro. She smiles at us a lot, coos and stays awake for long stretches. It is immensely rewarding to be with her.

Between spending 8 hours a day at the hospital, though, and pumping my breasts every 2 1/2 hours, day and night, I don't have time for much else. It takes me about 9-10 hours to get 5-6 hours' worth of sleep. (I am, however, deeply grateful to get that sleep, as I was averaging about 3 hours, due to pain, for the previous week.) I still move relatively slowly, but I have more stamina. I'm down to one Percocet every five hours or so (from two every three hours), which is a big relief. I'm slowly catching up on the enormous amount I want to say in my private journal. My digestion, which was basically on hold for about four days, is gradually gearing back towards normal. I'm still emotionally labile, but not crying for an hour or two a day, or at Absolutely Nothing, which I was up til a couple of days ago. Basically, I'm doing much much much better than I was a few days ago, but I have a very long way to go before I'm well. My body and my life still feel pretty foreign to me, but I'm adjusting.

I do intend to write more than this, and I hope to get to it soon. In the meantime, I continue to be grateful for all the well-wishing and support and such. Eventually I'll have the time to take some of you up on offers of help, even...

Comments

[arachne8x.livejournal.com]

Thanks again for the update. You are doing amazingly for what you are going through, I continue to be impressed by you my strong, lovely friend. Let me know when you want anything, even if its just an ear on the other end of the line.

[safetybitch.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'll take what I can get, and keep sending good energy your way... but let me know if you're ever up for a phone call :)

[abilouise.livejournal.com]

It's good to hear an update from you! I second the part about how amazing you are doing and how impressed I am by you.

*hugs*

[lady-anemone.livejournal.com]

Just a little reminder - you may not have been crying over things that were current and obvious, but you were not crying about Absolutely Nothing! Last week was tough enough that you could be crying for several months just about that and it would be totally reasonable.

[kimberlogic.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that you're feeling better in so many ways, and moreso that you're able to spend time with Sylvana. Doing whatever you need to do and communicating as often as works for you seems like the best plan. And crying - over anything and often or not - seems completely reasonable given pain, hormones and a scary ordeal. *hugs*

[pekmez.livejournal.com]

yeah, it's ok to cry with what you have been through!
so glad you are getting to spend more time close to her and recovering.

add me to the offers of miscellaneous help.

[(Anonymous)]

Glad you are coherent enough to write this:)

argh

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

that was me. not logged in again.

[veek.livejournal.com]

Mmmwah. I hope to see you soon. Am lighting candles in your direction every day. Also, lately, whenever I've felt like an inadequate slacker, the archetypal image of you just going on with your daily life pops into my head unbidden -- and this image always involves you doing *something*. So, exhausted and preoccupied as you are now, you're being a particular sort of inspiration to me these days.

Love you.

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the update. We've been worried about you. You are very much in your friend's thoughts and hearts.

[ceo]

What she said, including the worried look. :-)

[gingicat]

I am so glad that you're both doing better. I remember that emotionally labile postpartum period very well; it does eventually end. Hugs offered.

[gosling.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you are both doing better! Again, let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

[muffyjo]

Hey there! I heard you were having more adventures than expected and I wanted to offer up a resource. I'm sure you have plenty of them but one of my dearest and closest friends went through some of what you are going through. Her daughter was born having seizures and had some different decisions than you are in the middle of but I asked her if she would be interested in talk to you if you had questions and she would love to be of help.

Both she and her husband are well versed in all the Pharmacopia that goes with seizures in babies and she has some sage (often humourous) advice for all the questions that you might get asked or ask yourself. If you or starphire would like to fire any questions her way, she's happily offered to answer them.

See my profile for e-mail details.

[ceelove.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I think we're covered. MGH has been phenomenal about preparing us to take Sylvana home, including practicing giving her her meds, making followup appts for us, etc.

[montacute.livejournal.com]

i'm so glad to hear you're doing better. i'm among those who have been wondering and worrying... my love and concern continues to go out toward you and the little family. i'll be eager and interested to read further updates, whenever you are well enough and feel ready to post them.